Hetalia Sims - Chapter 1

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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MATURE LANGUAGE, THEMES, AND MEME REFERENCES.

Original: fav.me/d514fye

I had to fix a few things that managed to get screwed up in the process of moving this over to DA. So if you saw the original, terrible version....I'm sorry.

Not as funny as the last one, but still fun enough, I suppose. Took forever for them to start being interesting.




A NEW BEGINNING.

Let's see what new and interesting things happen this ti-



...oh good. Good.

Good.



Bathroom chats are all the rage. Arthur and Gilbert, by the way. None of them look right. I got pretty lazy about that.



NOBODY EVER NOT PLAYS THE COMPUTER. SERIOUSLY. I had to go lock the door to the computer lab because all anyone would do was go to school and play video games.

....What? Hypocrisy? Don't make up words.



This was the first fire of many. Many, many, many, many many fires happened before I removed all stoves from the lot.



Alfred takes his job as honorary brave guy very seriously.

Everyone else seems unamused. Well, except Natasha.

"DEM BALLS."


Immediately after the fire was put out, Roderich decided it was a good time to start cooking. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?

Nothing. He made a salad.



"Hey guys. Look. Showers."

"Should...should we use them?"

"...nah."

It took like four edits before they figured out how the showers worked.



Oh good.



Good.



GOOD.



HOW.



"...Guys I'm hungry."



I went to make sure everyone else was okay.

There was Arthur. Just staring serenely out his window.

I found out later he somehow managed to get locked in his room and nearly starved to death.



Well. Actually...he did starve to death. But I restarted the game. He's fine now.



Elizabeta spent her honorary night in the hospital wing until she stopped looking like something out of a Tim Burton movie.



"What's that? NOTHING HAS CAUGHT ON FIRE IN TWELVE WHOLE HOURS? UNACCEPTABLE."



Roderich is the main cause of the fires.

STOP. COOKING.



"...who ate in the library?"

In the distance, Alfred's voice echoed... "FUCK THE POLICE."



"Yes...yes...I SHOULD cook something and then leave right now....you're right."

I think the culinary board is haunted. They keep doing this.



"What if we took all the nasty babies..."



"AND SOLD THEM?"



Oh Gilbert. You so hilarious.



"Well I'm gonna go to bed."

"But..."



OH COME ON.



I would put you out but then you wouldn't learn anything.



"I don't get paid enough for this..."

That's the maid, by the way. he works a lot. Cleaning up ashes.



"EVERYBODY PANIC. IT MAKES THE FLAMES SMALLER."

"IT'S NOT WORKING!"

"LET'S TRY SMOTHERING IT WITH OUR BODIES."



They finally called the fire department and things got under control.



"I bet if we all stand in this corner here and clump together, it'll be even safer."

"Guys, the fire's out..."

"ANYBODY SEEN GILBERT?"

Antonio, he's right there. Why are you even thinking about him.



I think Elizabeta has developed some kind of pyrophobia.



Wait...is everyone playing the exact same game?

WHY.



I think the game is just convinced Elizabeta is a stalker.



"Gosh that fire was just so...Francis...FRANCIS I'M UP HERE."



Elizabeta is always thinking about Gilbert.



Even after all this time?

Always.



The fireman hasn't left.

He's been standing there. He's not hungry, or tired, or anything.

He just stands there.



Despite their good habits, almost all of them are failing.



"TO HELL WITH THIS. I'M TIRED."



There's only like, eight tables around the place.

I'm not going to question it.



Ivan's stressed and Gilbert looks like he's about to be.



Oh good more homework.

HOW ARE YOU ALL FAILING.



Arthur bored him to death.

Natasha is amused.



"Wait, Arthur? The guy that keeps boring me to death?"

"Yes, him."

"...I don't see it."



"...Francis? FRANCIS. FOCUS, MAN."



"You know Ivan?"

"..."

"FRANCIS."



"You're looking very nice today, Gilbert."

"...Why do I talk to you."



This was just after I locked up the computer lab.

"QUICK. EVERYONE FIND SOMETHING ELSE UNINTERESTING AND MENIAL TO DO."

Fuck you guys.



Gilbert just loves pissing people off. It brings him so much joy.

"Your sister has the BIGGEST-"

"STFU GILBERT!"



"Are we talking this big or..."



"Like, bigger than Roderich, or..."



"Well..."



Big enough for you.



"AS IF."

THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ROCKET SHIPS. YOU PEOPLE HAVE DIRTY MINDS.



Lovino just slapped Ivan in the face.

Your argument is invalid.



I don't even know. Francis just seems to piss all the girls off at this school.



Ivan finally wound up beating Lovino up.



Antonio thinks about Gilbert. A lot.



"Your brother's such a loser-"

"SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE, ANOTNIO."

For whatever reason, I don't have a picture of Gilbert kicking Antonio's ass.



"So like...Katy's boobs, amiright?"



I forget why Roderich slapped him. Because he's a dick, that's why.



"OH HELL NAH."





Gilbert taunted Ivan for a bit. Ivan decided to let it slide and told him about his master plan.

"You know Chernobyl, yes?"

"What?"



"You know the press will catch on to that plan, right?"

"You have pretty eyes."



"Um..."

"JUST LIKE MY SISTER."



"You're nuts."

"..."



"Still pretty."



"HEY. QUIT PICKING ON GILBERT, ASSHOLE. AND ENOUGH WITH THE HOMO, OKAY?"

Ivan thinks Alfred has a potty mouth.

Alfred and Gilbert are currently BFFs. This happens a lot.



Gilbert plays chess with himself.

Nothing out of the ordinary here.



Despite constant teasing from both parties, they hate each other passionately.



"So that's where we get the reactors to-"

"Where have I heard this before..."



"BLARGLEARGLE"

"WTFAMNESIAMONSTERWHERE."

That's Alfred, I think.



Despite all odds, Lovino is unafraid of pissing off Ivan.



"SHUT YOUR DUMB MOUTH, BITCH."



"Okay, okay! Jeese..."



Nothing homo about meeting your best friend behind a building without a shirt on.



Nope.



Gilbert actually hangs out with Ludwig a lot. I just never get any pictures of it. LUDWIG'S SO BORING.



"So how YOU doin'?"



"So the reactors are the perfect power sources for the underground bunkers..."



"ARTHUR YOUR FOOD TASTES LIKE GARBAGE."

"But...Roderich's the one that keeps setting fires!"



"Your food is garbage though."

"See?"

"Fuck you guys."



"Ooh, look at me, I'm Arthur and I'm all stuck up-"

"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?"



"Guys, come on, stop being mean to Arthur."

"Whaaaat, it's truuuue...."



"Well...Your brother-"



Gilbert is apparently really protective of Ludwig.



It's a shame Ivan just beats the crap out of everyone. I'm not sure why, since most of them have a higher athletic score then him.

...Works for me.



OH GOD WHAT IS THAT.




One short break later...



Francis and Elizabeta wound up dating.



Well...technically.



As did Katy and Ludwig.

They actually like each other quite a bit.



It's rather cute, actually. Awkward, but cute.



"What, are you the maid or a stripper?"



Alfred and Natasha are dating too. They're completely, utterly, head over heels for each other.

I'm not even sure how, since their traits conflict.



They fight the odds, somehow.



Gilbert, be nice. That's your best friend's girlfriend.



I have no pity for you. You would have done the same thing if she talked about your brother.



YOLO!

This school is such an exciting place.




Well these two keep it fun, at least.





"How'd you finish so fast..."

Do not mind the bush in the corner.



"This place is so boring. Everyone just reads all the time."

"I know. Let's do something fun."

"Let's throw a party!"

"YEAH."



They threw a party in the boy's dorms. Which was a terrible idea because it seemingly upset the balance of reality, but more on that later.

There are several new girls attending the school. There's Michelle, checking out the stereo.


Bella watches Gilbert's sweet moves.



"Oh yeah. She wants me."



Gilbert brags about his sweet moves.

Do not mind the costume change. That is Michelle again in the corner.

Don't ask. Just don't ask.



"Come on girl, you know you like this."



Bella is unimpressed.



WHAT'S THIS? COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE ONE PERSON ON THE CAMPUS LOVINO HASN'T MANAGED TO GET TO HATE HIM PASSIONATELY?



Don't worry, he managed to fuck it up by whining about his life.



ANTONIO, WHAT DID YOU DO?

That's Lili, by the way.



Wait, these two are still talking? Seriously?



"Hey! HEY FRANCIS! Check it out. I'm dancing with a chick."

"I'm impressed."



Gilbert noticed someone was missing from the party.

"Hey. What are you doing way out here? There's a party going on."

"I'm not really dressed for a party..."



"What? You look fine!"



"Aw...thanks. You look nice too..."



"Thanks..."

"I'll go change into something a bit cleaner and meet you out here, okay?"

"Sure..."



Meanwhile, Francis was alone with Bella in the library.



"Alright, I'm ready."



"Oh...wow."



"But I like your hair up better.

"I thought I'd wear it down tonight..."



"Still looks great..."

At this point I should mention that under the rules of this playthrough, I am not allowed to force any romantic gestures unless the sims push things along to flirty themselves unless the sims in question are dating OR the sim I am controling is currently drunk.

In which case I feel it is my honorary duty to act as the bad idea bears.



Speaking of bad ideas...



Everyone's started wandering off to make out talk, so Gilbert and Elizabeta enjoy a drink in relative privacy.



"Hey Gilbert."

"Hey Antonio."

Those two are going to end up losing a game of gay chicken one day.



Everyone's been gathering in the cafeteria. Now this looks like a party.

Francis peed himself.

People clear out to avoid the smell of Francis's newest cologne and he goes off to clean himself up. Or possibly just sober up. Something.



Gilbert and Elizabeta find themselves alone and slightly buzzed.



"You really do look nice tonight..."



"You're so nice sometimes, Gilbert..."



"And not half-bad looking either..."



"Oh really?"

"Don't let it get to your head."



"Well maybe I will."

"Maybe you should."
















...




"WHAT THE FUCK."

"DID WE DO WHAT I THINK WE DID?"



"I think so."

"..."






Chapter 2: rinacath.deviantart.com/journa…
© 2012 - 2024 RinaCath
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Viridiani's avatar
Do you turn on Story Progression? And what Expansion Packs do you use?
....Anyway, this is really funny :iconlolrussiaderp: